If it's true that "the journey's the thing," then this has been quite a thing! For TWO years I have been reading Ferber, Weissbluth, "Baby 411," webmd, talking to our pediatrician, googling sleep problems in babies, asking family psychologists, whining to other Moms, begging my sister-in-law to remind me again that I'm not crazy---all in hopes of figuring out why I could not get my daughter (ok, our daughter) to sleep. Last January I even dedicated an entire month to only getting Ellie to sleep. I drew-up a strict schedule of meal times, nap time and length and bedtime all according to "the books." I listened to many, many people (understandably trying to help in the tough love sort of way) tell me that I needed to be stronger, to let her cry longer and harder, that two weeks might not be long enough... etc., etc., etc. Things did improve, but never completely and never enough so that Ellie could sleep through most nights (that is still a daydream I nap on).
This past spring I was finally strong enough (and tired of being tired enough) that I said to Ellie's pediatrician, "I just know there is something else." I think she recognized that Mommy intensity and sent us to an overnight sleep clinic. When the results came a few days later I was shocked. Ellie's doctor had taken blood previous to the sleep clinic and those results suggested she might have restless leg syndrome, so when they told me she has sleep apnea...well, I didn't know what to say. Isn't that when you stop breathing? Isn't it only found in people who are overweight?
Turns out, lots of kids are diagnosed with sleep apnea at just about Ellie's age and all for the same reason--super-sized tonsils and adenoid. Yep, x-ray showed that Ellie has both enlarged tonsils and adenoid. The ENT says that if they are taken out, there is a good chance that Ellie will sleep through the night (and her drooling will stop and her talking with improve).
Part of me is dreading the surgery. Ever since Ellie had 11 stitches in her chin (note to parents: don't let toddler ride dog like pony, even if dog is small and harmless, especially if you have wood floors), now she enters any room that even resembles a doctor's office and falls to the floor saying, "no. no." and crys and crys. I try to reason it all out in my mind, but to be honest, it doesn't matter what I tell myself. That's my baby and watching her fall apart like that makes my heart break a little every time. Worse, there have been too many times in the last six months when we have confirmed her fears, only making things worse. I've had to hold her down, while she is screaming at the top of her lungs and crying and sweating--for shots, for taking blood, for putting over twenty electric probes all over her at the sleep clinic--too many times. I have such a greater empathy and respect for parents with children who have serious illnesses. This thing of this journey has truly been terrible and I'll be glad to have it done.
The other part of me is still shocked and thrilled. TWO years of sleep deprivation, arguments with my husband about what might or might not work for Ellie, books and books, crying and wondering and worrying and more crying, listening to lectures...and one simple x-ray, one surgery, one night in the hospital and all will (should) be well?! I believe I will be ordering that X-ray on my next child at about three or six months!!!
To try and lessen the trauma and confusion for Ellie, we've been playing "Dr. Ellie" as often as we can. I've also let her take her own temperature as well as mine and "Baby" and "Zebra"--but, "no Ellie, not Bella!"
