I adore him. I can't help myself. Even when he is yelling from the back of the condo, "MOOOOMY! HEY, MOOOOOOOOOOM! Mommy, Mom, mama, Maaaaaaaaaaaamy!" and when I finally get to him he says, "Look! Look what my train can do!" Even then my heart skips a beat. I didn't know I could love a baby BOY this much. I naively thought those intimate connections were only with girl offspring. This probably has something to do with my FOUR brothers (no sisters). There were intimate moments if that means wrestling, towel slaps, shoves--and all this in play or in anger. Ok, yes, Dave gets extra points for letting me sleep in his bed when there were scary thunderstorms, but generally... When the ultra sound technician told me I was having a boy my blood pressure went through the roof. I had to lay down in the doctor's office and drink water and take deep breaths. I love my brothers but our childhood and how I fit into our childhood is, well, complicated. And then I somehow ('there must be a mistake!') had one of their kind growing inside of me.
But, Colin and I... we've got it goin on. This child can be drilling down on your last nerve and suddenly say, "Know how much I love you Mommy? SEVEN! I love you SEVEN!" And then he dies a death of giggles because he knows that our SEVEN love for one another is the most joyous reality he has encountered in his 3.75 years outside the womb.
And the snuggles...oh, the snuggles! "You nuggle me mommy? You holg me on the couch for five minutes?" And so we snuggle and HOLD each other on the couch. Cheek to cheek sometimes, his head nuzzled on my chest other times. He loves to twist my hair over in his fingers over and over again during said snuggles. He sighs in delight. I sigh in delight. I dream of this snuggle lasting the morning and then suddenly there is a song on that can't be on without being danced to--and just like that we are UP. And moving our booties to the beat.
Ahh, Colin. My sweet boy. My love for you is impenetrable.
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| My friend pointed out that the happier he is the more his eyes become lost. I love it. |
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| He's a holder. He wants to be held and he wants to hold others just as much. |
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| A summer spa from Aunt Marylisa. Nothin better. |
